"The marriage between my grandparents is my first memory of a husband and wife. In my young, impressionable mind, theirs was the epitome of what a “good” Christian union looked like."

"Even without the church as the third party in our marriage, it was in jeopardy. Our marriage was fragile and our position in the church only exacerbated that fragility, further complicating matters."

"I was most certainly not looking forward to that. I loved the idea of marriage, of having a partner to share my life with. This was about agency and restoration of self, both of which had been hijacked."

"I had not fathomed that the confidence I had been taught to respect and revere in my husband and other male pastors was masked arrogance and, even more troubling, clinical."

"I was infuriated and from that day forward, every interaction with him privately, every social media post, and every conversation concerning the divorce reflected that anger."

"Initially, I was relieved to be rid of the stress and scrutiny that came along with serving a congregation. For once I did not have to be “on” or criticized when my “on-ness” was not satisfactory to others."

"Keeping myself together for our children while going through this was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do."

"In full transparency, God’s timing was a source of great frustration. I was drowning in the deep end of despair, despondence, and pure anguish. I needed saving, and I needed it urgently."

"The only restorative way to truly understand grief was to just sit in it. Yes, I had to sit in the grief in order to heal the grief. This was no small feat."

"Surrendering my emotions was emancipating and inched me one step closer to the forgiveness that I coveted. It was so liberating to rid myself of that emotional baggage. It made my heart ripe to forgive."

"My perspective is that curiosity can mute erroneous assumptions and clarify uncertainties. It is difficult to be curious when offense feels familiar and comfortable."

"As awful as the valley was, it was not a place of confinement intended to torture me. It was a place God took me because God had spared me. God had preserved my life."